Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize