I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Randomize
