Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
