Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
