remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
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When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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