Me too!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
