i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My life is pants optional.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
