I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
