Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
