he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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