i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
