Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize