My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
