do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
