he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
