im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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