he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
