you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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