Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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