Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
