this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We have started to decorate penises.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
