your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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