i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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