Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
