Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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