I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
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Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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