worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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