Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
