I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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