You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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