So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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