That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize