Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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