So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
