When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This is classic penis vs brain.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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