Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
