I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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