I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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