Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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