I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
