I must be too annoying 4 u.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
