Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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