I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize