I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you would pick up someone in the library
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
