have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
me + whiskey = a bad person
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
