Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
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i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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