just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize