yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
