the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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