hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
