how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
