I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
