She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize