He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.