These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms