Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Holy sore nipples Batman
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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