this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
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all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)