Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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